Laker Eight Presents - Risky Business

Risky Business

With the Trade Deadline having passed a couple of days ago, I was all prepped to write about all the blockbuster trades that I was sure were going to happen (Gasol to the Suns, a Rondo/Parsons swap, Kevin Love to the Lakers/Mavs) but alas, it was all extremely underwhelming. Other than Danny Granger finally moving on from the franchise he was the face of for a good few years, nothing notable really happened so before anyone questions why I didn’t touch on the subject, that’s why.

The Trade Deadline may have been a complete non-event and nothing of note has happened in the few games to be played since the All-Star break so this week I’m going to discuss something that has nothing to do with the game itself but is nonetheless causing a huge stir amongst the fans. Adam Silver has started his reign as commissioner in somewhat controversial fashion as he confirmed what we had all long suspected and long feared – not only are the sleeved jerseys here to stay, but on-jersey advertisements will soon be joining them. Is this a sign of the apocalypse in American sports as some seem to think, or just a savvy move for a league that at the end of the day is still a business? Well, I feel strongly one way (hint: it sure isn’t in favour of the ads/sleeves) but for the benefit of those of you who remain on the fence about it all I’ll do my best to put forth some kind of counterargument.

Apparently the NBA leaked this. Uh oh

“The league is a business! We need money!”

The above is the basic argument put forward by the top dogs in the league office, and at first glance it may seem to be a case of the rich getting richer as it’s estimated that last season the league had revenue of $5 billion. That’s 20% more than just a couple of years earlier, so it would appear that the league has no problem with money. However, that’s revenue – not profit – and after all expenses have been taken out and the appropriate money has been doled out to all 30 teams, I imagine that the actual figure isn’t quite so glamorous and that stakeholders may be asking a few questions about why the league isn’t doing everything it can to maximise earnings like any other business would. Furthermore, running a team isn’t usually profitable for the owners so when Silver claimed that the ad spots may be worth $100 million to a team, you better believe that their ears perked up. A profitable team makes for a happy owner, which leads to benefits that range from the major (splashing out on a superstar) to the minor (upgrades to the arena or training facilities), all of which ultimately lead to a more successful team - you don’t often hear of cash-strapped small markets achieving much in US sports. With the double whammy of increased profitability for both the league and the owners having undeniable trickle down effects for both the teams and the fans, it definitely makes you think twice about whether having a small ad on the jerseys is really worse than having a mediocre (albeit ad-free) franchise.

Alternatively, this is why Silver wants more money

Of course, sports aren’t all about the financials or even necessarily about winning championships. For many, it’s about feeling connected to the team and the feeling of community and brotherhood that can result from a shared fandom with otherwise complete strangers. This leads me to the other argument being put forward by people in favour of the ads, which is that leagues worldwide have their uniforms plastered with ads and fans not only accept them but also embrace some sponsors as being key parts of their team’s history. Perhaps the most obvious example is the English Premier League – who doesn’t know someone who drinks Carlsberg because they’re a Liverpool fan, or who chose Vodafone or Samsung because of their prominent sponsorship of Manchester United and Chelsea respectively? If anyone watched the Rising Stars game, you would have seen a sneak preview of the proposed ad sizing, which is basically a tiny square which it seems will either be below the number on the back, or on the front above the numbers as seen with Harrison Barnes in the photo above. So from an entirely non-financial standpoint, it does all seem slightly win-win – either fans will embrace whoever sponsors their team ala the Premier League, or the ads will be too small to really care about.

“Yeah but... America! Freedom! Liberty!”

Americans seem to enjoy a very love/hate relationship with ads. As anyone who’s ever watched more than about 30 seconds of the NBA or NFL will know, you can’t escape them – including special league-mandated timeouts to ensure maximum commercial time – but the seemingly logical progression of ads on jerseys has largely drawn the same reaction as I imagine punching a bald eagle in front of the White House would. The main reason for offence seems to be that none of the other major leagues (NFL, MBL, NHL) have ads and are all hugely successful so why does the NBA need them, especially when it seems to have exploded in popularity during the LeBron era? Yeah, the WNBA and Major League Soccer have on-jersey ads, but they are also wildly unpopular for the most part and haemorrhage money so it’s probably more of a desperation move from them than anything else. Perhaps fans are also worried that should this NBA experiment prove successful, it’s only a matter of time before the idea infiltrates the other sports and it won’t be long before you can’t buy a single item of American sports apparel without a McDonalds logo on the front and a Google logo on the back. Although most of us outside the US are perhaps more used to it with our sports teams, the idea of being a walking billboard doesn’t seem to sit pretty with Yank fans so expect many threats of boycotts and bypassing official jerseys in favour of ad-free Chinese knockoffs - because somehow that’s more patriotic than sporting a small logo.

A possibility

Finally, to take the argument down to its most basic point people (including myself) are quite frankly sick of the outrageous amounts of advertising in every single aspect of the league. Things like the Sprite® Slam Dunk Contest presented by Kia ® are now common place (as if an event being sponsored by one company wasn’t enough...) and even seemingly charitable acts like donating $X per 3 point shot made have turned commercial as every time a team hits a shot we’re forced to hear the same snippet about how great that company is and how we should all buy from them. This helps explain why there is such outrage when it’s seemingly a pretty reasonable idea, because by itself defiling the jerseys may not be a problem, but when combined with the bombardment of advertising NBA fans already face it may be the straw the broke the camel’s back. Storied franchises like the Celtics and the Bulls who have had pretty much the same uniforms for 30, 40, even 50 years will all of a sudden have the history of their timeless jerseys cheapened by tacky advertising, and whilst casual fans probably aren’t too fussed about it I’m sure many diehards will consider it a truly dark day for the NBA.

Either way... It’s happening.

At the end of the day it doesn’t really matter what you, me or even Kobe or LeBron think. Ads on jerseys are coming whether we like it or not, the sleeves are most likely here to stay and any sense that the league had at least some standards when it came it whoring itself out has gone out the window. Yeah, I know this has all sounded a bit doom and gloom and I’m sure in time we’ll all get used to it but right now it truly does seem like the NBA will sell itself to anyone for the right price because it knows that casual fans don’t care enough to notice and hardcore fans care too much to stop watching. Hopefully this has brought a couple of points to your attention so what do you think about the whole palava? Is this the start of a new age of profitability and newfound attachment to your McDonalds Lakers brought to you by Toyota, or a sign that Adam Silver may in fact actually be Satan and Hitler rolled into one? Well, that’s up for debate at present - my guess is he’s probably not, but that bald head isn’t entirely trustworthy - but we’ll all find out soon enough.  

Laker Eight Presents: The Final All Star Installment

First things first, I hereby promise that this is the last time you’ll see me dedicating an entire entry to All-Star weekend – but there are always so many tasty (and not so tasty) tid bits to take away from the shenanigans. Plus, it’ll help take your mind off the disaster that was the Warriors semi-final loss in the Nines.

So, how did ya’ll enjoy All Star weekend anyway? Good? Bad? Ugly? I certainly think there were parts to the festivities that fit all these descriptors. Effort levels may have stayed at their historically low standards (Joe Johnson seemingly doing the shootout in slow motion, for example) but nonetheless, the results are often pretty exciting from an entertainment standpoint. So, in chronological order, let’s digest the weekend that was...

What the Celebrity game lacked in actual celebrities, it made up for in exciting play and a surprisingly high quality of basketball. With the exceptions of Wale, Kevin Hart and that fat Mike, everyone seemed like they actually knew what they were doing – first time viewers may take this for granted, but trust me, it isn’t always the case. Speaking of Kevin, didn’t I say he’d undeservedly get the Celeb MVP over my boy Arne Duncan? Mad props to him for handing the trophy over, but even madder props to Arne for his filthy behind the head pass – that’s what balling with Barack at the FBI building will do for your game. A bevy of blonde stunners certainly made the game easy on the eyes too...

Next up, not to blow my own horn too much, but after the Rising Stars game all my predictions had come off – Drummond absolutely dominated (25 rebounds... are you serious?!) and Team Hill took home the honours. Highlight of the night was definitely the crazy 1 on 1 duel between Tim Hardaway Jr and Dion “I’m fat and usually shoot bricks” Waiters, or perhaps it was the fact that the Plumlee brothers made me eat my words when they proved to actually be some of the most athletic players out there. Like the Celeb game, the fact this one was close throughout made it so much better to watch, as it meant that it didn’t degenerate into the impromptu dunk contest/3 point shootout that it often does. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the dunks... but wildly athletic blocks also float my boat. Either way, it was a great game and if you think otherwise you were probably watching the wrong channel.

You’d look sad too if your MVP trophy broke

My predictions then fell apart, so I hope none of you out there lost any fat stacks after taking my advice down to the TAB. Few, and by few I mean absolutely no one, would have picked Marco Bellinelli to take out the 3 point contest – advice that seemed particularly sage after he airballed 2 shots in the first round. In classic slippery Italian fashion he somehow managed to pull it out though, but even after seeing it with my own eyes I’m unsure how he beat guys like Steph Curry. His post-win interview seemed to explain his unfazed attitude (one he seems to share with countryman Andrea Bargnani – do Italians just not care that much?) though, as in broken English he gave the invaluable answer that his secret to winning was “I shot the ball”. Shooting the ball in a 3 point contest – is this advice so simple it’s genius, or just the result of a simple mind? For the amusement I got from this answer alone I’m willing to accept my poor predictions  and maybe next year the other contestants will follow this wise mans words and just “shoot the ball”.

Marco Bellineli - They don't call him big balls for nothing

Unfortunately after all the excitement of a sudden death shootout, the dunk contest was perhaps the worst thing I’ve seen at All-Star weekend since I started watching. Some of the dunks were undoubtedly electrifying, but the main problem was there actually weren’t that many dunks to be had. In fact, the whole thing raised so many questions that I don’t really know where to start – why did the judges need iPads to display a single word? Who was Barnes trying to fool with his 2K14 gimmick?  How could the public possibly have time to fairly award the best individual dunker when the award was given seconds after the final dunk? Why did neither the dunkers nor the announcers seem to know that there wasn’t a second round? And most importantly, who is it that got paid millions to organise such a clusterfuck? This whole thing reeked of the NBA trying too hard to refresh the event, but when there is such a talented pool of contestants they really need to just let the dunks speak for themselves. Just thinking of it makes me irrationally angry so I think it’s best for the sake of my health that I leave it there, and simply say that at least John Wall was recognised for his best of the night dunk over the impossibly creepy Wizards He-Man-esque mascot.

Last but certainly not least, the All-Star game itself was certainly the pinnacle of the weekend and continued the trend of upsets. It somehow managed to combine the teams getting the record for most points in an ASG with a real defensive edge in the 4th, so fans really got the best of both worlds in terms of offense and defence. This year truly marked the passing of the torch from the era of guys like Kobe, Timmy D and KG to the young bloods like Kyrie and Blake Griffin, as evidenced by the impressive ability of Tony Parker and Dirk Nowitzki to seemingly completely disappear from the game (Dirk was even the only guy not to score). I thought the West was going to win in a blowout, but questionable lineup choices (putting Harden back in at the end – Scott Brooks perhaps showing some favouritism to his ex-player there) and the improbable partnership of Joakim Noah and LeBron (are there two guys who hate each other more in the league? You’d be hard pressed to find them) meant that the East ground it out. A downright silly number of threes, a healthy smattering of alley-oops and a suitably impressive display of handles by Kyrie – who might be the smoothest handler in the league- meant that this game will certainly live on in the memories of fans, even if other elements of the weekend seem destined for the scrap heap.

Stud: Although Blake Griffin proved my point that those who are willing to run the floor will be rewarded in the box score, the MVP really couldn’t have gone to anyone but Kyrie “Uncle Drew” Irving. He spurred the East on in the 4th, showed them young bloods that the game has always been about buckets and somehow racked up 14 assists while doing so.

Dud<strong>: </strong>James Harden. I actually didn’t notice that he’d even scored in the game, and he seemed to pull a vanishing act during the 2nd and 3rd quarters – hell, even when he was on the court he was nearly invisible. Combined with his 3 point foul on PG24 in the clutch, he definitely was a fish out of water in this game. Honourable mention must go to Steph Curry though, who seemingly couldn’t buy a three out there.

So there we have it. Another All-Star weekend come and gone, symbolising the start of the real grind in the league proper. You can bet that come playoffs all that buddy-buddy stuff between the players will be gone, but it was nice whilst it lasted anyway. My player of the weekend would have to go to John Wall, who put on a real show in the dunk contest and was looking good in the ASG until he was unfairly yanked just when he was threatening to really break out, and my flop of the weekend is Damien Lillard – for a guy who was hyped so much about entering every event, he sure didn’t achieve much. Finally, for those keeping track of my predictions from last week... Well, they didn’t go so well so unfortunately I can’t boast about being an NBA messiah just yet. 

Hey now, you're an All Star - Laker Eight

It’s reached that point of the NBA calendar where the All-Star starters are announced, and over the years this has proven to be a controversial topic. Is Tim Duncan a center or a power forward? Should MJ really be starting over Vince? Should we eliminate fan voting? And to really go back, is it even safe for Magic Johnson to be playing? (For the record, the answers are power forward, yes, no, and yes).

The very nature of the fan-driven voting process means that inevitably people get flustered when their favourite players are overlooked despite having an MVP-worthy season (Steph Curry) in favour of cult players on the decline (Duncan, Garnett) or players from huge markets (Yao Ming, Jeremy Lin). Every year without doubt fan forums and friend circles are divided along the lines of promoting who they believe deserves the nod, and players themselves have been known to try and rustle up a few votes via campaigns such as “Show Kevin some Love” and Chris Bosh’s memorable 2008 video dressed as a used-car salesman.

The campaigning and champagning is over now though so I’m going to give my rundown on the 2014 starters for both conferences – who snuck in by reverse psychology, who is the biggest surprise and who is the least deserving? Let’s find out...

Unfortunately fans can’t vote on the uniforms. These are terrible.

Western Conference

PG: Steph Curry. Steph has been balling out of his mind recently, averaging a league-leading 3.2 threes a game and a second-best 9.2 assists, leading Kevin Durant to call him the greatest shooter in NBA history. With stats like these and his stroke as wet as it is, it’s hard to disagree with him. After being robbed last year of a reserve slot this starting spot is well deserved, especially after Chris Paul’s unfortunate injury. Prediction: Could set new record for most 3’s in the game.

SG: Kobe Bryant. This is perhaps the most inevitable selection despite the fact he’s only played in a handful of games all year, due to the overwhelming support he has worldwide. Fans will vote for him based on name and legend alone until he retires, despite him going on record as saying that they should vote for younger, more deserving players like Damien Lillard. He’s announced that he’ll sit out the game in order to avoid injury, so don’t get your hopes up for a repeat performance of his two late game blocks on LeBron from last year. Prediction: James Harden will replace him in the starting lineup and set a record for most wild head flails.

SF: Kevin Durant. KD. Durantula. The Slim Reaper. Whichever nickname you want to use for him (Slim Reaper is by far the best) this guy simply gets it done on a night to night basis. Leading the league in scoring, nearly 7 feet tall and one of the most clutch performers in the game, Durant is the favourite for MVP and arguably the 2nd best player in basketball. I don’t think he’s the most exciting player in the world, probably due to how easy he makes it all look and lack of true highlight reel dunks, but his matchup against either Paul George or LeBron will be the most anticipated of the night. Prediction: Tweets about his disdain for the Slim Reaper moniker will overshadow his game.

PF: Blake Griffin. For purely personal reasons, this is the first selection I’m not thrilled with. Maybe it’s because I’m a Lakers fan, maybe it’s because I hate his stupid blank face after every dunk he does, and maybe it’s his stumpy little arms. Whatever the reason, I think Blake is somewhat overrated. Whilst undeniably a great dunker, I think people overestimate his true offensive capabilities due to how easy it must be to play next to Chris Paul, and his defence is average at best. Having said that, he’s tailor-made for the all-flash no substance nature of All-Star games, so perhaps he deserves this spot after all. Prediction: blank face mean mugging after a barrage of alley-oops.  

C: Kevin Love. This is my biggest surprise of the night and the selection that I’m most pleased about, although again this may have something to do with the fact that I’m a Lakers fan so I’m bound to hope that Dwight Howard fails at everything he does. Kevin Love is perhaps my second favourite player in the league, because watching a short unathletic white guy outrebound and outscore hyper-athletes like Dwight and Blake never gets old.  An absolute terror on the glass and a bomber from deep, K-Love is probably the most well-rounded PF in the game (sorry Lamarcus) and is also the only white guy in either starting line-up. Prediction/Hope: gets traded to the Lakers.

Eastern Conference

PG: Kyrie Irving. Kyrie largely claims this spot by default as the East is so devoid of talent that the only other real challengers were Kyle Lowry in Toronto and John Wall in Washington, both of whom aren’t as well-known as the guy who was meant to fill LeBrons shoes in Cleveland. He slipped off the radar a bit early in the season and people were questioning whether he’d ever really be a truly great player, but he’s putting up nice enough numbers now to warrant the start. Prediction: Will break someone’s ankles like he did to Brandon Knight in the Rookie Challenge

SG: Dwayne Wade. It really shows the state of the Eastern conference and the SG spot in general when a guy who will rest for multiple games at a time can still comfortably be an All-Star starter. Sure, he’s averaging nearly 20 ppg, but I can’t help but feel that someone like Aaron Afflalo is at risk of being criminally overlooked for even being a reserve when he could arguably be a starter. Either way, I can’t see D-Wade playing very long with his knees in the state they are, so don’t expect fireworks. Prediction: Will barely play unless it’s a close game in the 4th.

SF1: LeBron James. It’s LeBron. Definitely the best player to come out of a stacked 2003 draft, and almost definitely the best player in the NBA (and the world) right now – what else is there to say? Prediction: If the East win (which they won’t), he’ll be the MVP.

SF2:  Paul George. PG24 has always flown under the radar somewhat, putting up good enough stat lines and being a crucial part of an Indiana team that has always threatened to break out, but wasn’t really a household name until he absolutely took it to LeBron and the Heat in the playoffs last year. This year he’s continued along the same lines, racking up monster game after monster game and being both an offence and defensive lynchpin for the team I think is the best in the league. Plus, did you see his 360 windmill jam recently? Woowee... Prediction: Will throw down at least one ridiculous dunk.

SF3: Carmelo Anthony. On a Knicks team that is carrying on their tradition of mediocrity, Melo  is the only bright point. If you watch any NY games, he’ll be the only guy who’s diving on balls, getting putbacks, and generally doing all the small things that you need to do in order to actually win some games. This shows with the fact that despite playing alongside two 7 footers and being moved from the PF spot he played last year, he’s averaging around 9 rebounds a game which is pretty incredible. Three SFs in the starting lineup means he’ll probably be asked to guard K-Love, which could be an interesting matchup, but could also mean the East gets killed on the boards. Prediction: Will thoroughly enjoy playing with team mates that actually have some talent.

So there we have it, your 2014 NBA All-Star starters. On paper it seems that the West will destroy the East, particularly when the reserves come on, but being an All-Star game it really comes down to who can actually be bothered putting in any effort during the first 3 quarters. Look for hometown hero Anthony Davis to get voted in by the coaches and receive huge playing time, and for Boogie Cousins to be the biggest snub. Prediction: West take it easily, with The Brow being the early favourite for MVP.